So here I am, 48 years old...this past week I had a biopsy done on an enlarged Lymph node. The surgeon told my wife that it was very large, and the nurse was recommending that I may want to look for a onocological urologist, now if that is not a wake up call.
As a paramedic, I speant many years trying to help people, and there were times that I was not able to help the patient. I realize that death is a part of life, and that really does not scare me but what does scare me is illness. The thought of being ill and loosing certain abilities terrifies me. While I know that as of this writing everything is premature, I have no clue what the test results are just the thought of traveling that road is scary. I have a wonderful life, sure it has it's ups and downs, who doesn't however the thought of leaving is not a happy thought.
This is my special little girl, Zarah a 6 year old Rottie. Over the past several weeks she has been very "clingy" not wanting to let me go outside without her, or she wants to ride with me. Her job is not done, and I need to be here to help her.
The second picture is our newest addition, Java a little Pit Bull mix that was so neglected she was less than 15lbs. She was nursed back to health, and now is the picture of love and devotion, she is the ultimate in cuteness, love and the fact dogs don't live in the past. The other day she rode about 240 miles with me, while we were out I stopped to give her water and let her strech. A truck driver who was next to us started to talk to her and she was happy and so friendly. Her mission in life is just starting and I need to be there to help her.
The possibility of cancer scares the hell out of me, my dogs, my wife and my family do not deserve this, but if it is my plight so be it. I know that what will be will be and we are all just along for the ride. I will attempt to stay positive as things unfold, but I also know that someday I will pass on to the next plain of life, and I am at peace with that.
Be good to one another, because when all is said and done, that's all we really have...one another.
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